I'll Make Love to You
According to UK's Daily Mail, President Putin has hired Boyz II Men to pump up the volume of Russia's birth rate. Apparently, Boney M was not available.
We at BigRussianSoul.com believe this is both the announcement of a concert and of the moment when Vladimir Putin's already singular soul became a singularity. Henceforth the true scope of his massive soul will be hidden from our view and we will only sense his depths through radiation emitted from the event horizon, beyond which point nothing, not even light itself, can escape.
If one could construct a spaceship which could survive the tremendous stresses of journeying beyond the event horizon of Putin's soul (let's call the hypothetical ship the RFS Golden Palomino) and man that ship with the usual crew of a captain, a first mate, a scientist, an ESP-sensitive hot lady and a cool robot, then send the ship and its cohort down the curve of spacesoultime into Putin's innermost soul, well, if one could do that one would certainly want to listen to some jammin' tunes by Boyz II Men along the way.