New Year's

January 1

The next-to-the-next-to-last drinking holiday of the Christmas season. You should be fairly well inebriated by now, though keep in mind that it's best to peak at Old Christmas and ride that buzz through Old New Year's.

Old Christmas

January 7

Don't miss this unique chance to celebrate Christmas twice! It's a day-off-from-work deal, too.

People Who Work For Prosecutors Day

January 12

Tonight we're gonna party like your husband's away in jail. Thank you, people who work for prosecutors!

Russian Press Day

January 13

Celebrated by zillions every year. But it doesn't mean what you think it means... "Press" is a noun.

Corps of Engineers Day

January 21

Drink a toast to Russia's finest. (Not to be confused with "Corpse of Engineer Day," which a more obscure holiday.)

End Of The Siege Of Leningrad (1944) Day

January 27

The siege of Leningrad really sucked. Goddam fascists.